This is Part 2 of 2
Lying down in bed,
resting inside gentle, open space in inky-darkness
this peaceful awareness just as it is,
for this safe place
to begin the fall into sleep
The door opened ...
It was many hours of being held in that tender nothingness of Unfathomable Peace - The Stillness.
Even as the alarm binged that next day, it was a NEW day ... to wholly imbibe this fulsome benediction. As the cognitive faculties coalesced back into 'finite mind' and self-reflection was on-line, it was light-heartedness and joyous reverence that shone through.
At the time, I was in a motel ... on a five-day retreat/ workshop on 'Mindful self-compassion' for psychologists. I am not a psychologist, but was allowed to attend because on the occupation question I wrote: mumunk - mum and contemplative. That next day attending the workshop, as part of the process of developing the skills for self-compassion, we were asked to remember painful times ...
There was nothing left to participate in this ... nothing responded, except the image of me with maracas dancing down the main street of Byron Bay. This playful response felt irreverent to the reason for my body lying on the floor in supposed painful reminiscence. But, the FELT sight was in something much bigger.
Later that night, with time to dip back into THAT from whence THIS came ... I recollected a sense of being held in something so tender with such a feeling of HOME that I would choose to stay over and over, such utter peace and contentment. And, that sweetness, the bliss, was now radiating from the back between the spine and the right shoulder blade all through my body. Of course, there was no sense of a 'me' or 'I' in the original holding, but this FELT KNOWING imprinted inside this individual body/mind/soul (what to call me?) was the benediction still available. It has taught me so much.
I recalled during that visit HOME, that my body had switched sides and moved around in bed. Also, that noise was heard twice - the sound of a car starting. During the period of absolute awareness/ union there was no recognition of noise. However, in some relationship with that noise, dots of light rose out of this field and then fell back down. Think of the graphics of a stereo equaliser, only much simpler, even simpler than the image above.
It was direct perception of this field rising and falling.
Footnote Stillness speaks - Part 1
Footnote The Still Point